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January 28, 2004

Command Line Styles

While I'm at it, I might as well spoof "American Pie" by Don McLean, which is sometimes listed as the greatest rock song of all time. The song doesn't make much sense, parts being based on a dream, so I figured the parody shouldn't make a whole lot of sense either. It also jumps around to unrelated subjects like the original. Anyway, I knew I was going to have to take on this song at some point. It took about an hour. Hope you like it.

A long long time ago
I can still remember
How a newline used to start the file
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could break most people's trance
And maybe they'd be stable for a while
But graphics systems made me shiver
  with every release they'd deliver
Bad news on my website
I couldn't make one more hit
I can't remember if I smiled
When I read about his Windows trial
But something touched me deep inside
The day my 'puter died

*Bye, bye 'nix command line styles
Post my update to my website but the website was fried
Them good ole boys were linking fiskings and tripe
Singing this'll be the patch that I try
This'll be the patch that I try

Did you like the look of Macs
And do you have faith in Google hacks
If the help file tells you so?
Now do you believe in slave and host?
Can blue screens save your kernal's code?
And can you teach me how to reach real mode?

Well, I know that you're hung up on mem
'cause I saw you plugging in the SIMMs
O'erclocked your CPU
Man, I dig those faster reboots
I was a lonely teenage codin' geek
With a link fixation and a mem'ry leak
But I knew I was out of luck
The day my 'puter died
I started singing(*)

Now, for ten years we've been on our own
And news comes fast on a broadband phone
But that's not how it used to be
When the web first ran on computer screens
With the code we borrowed from geeky teens
And a choice that came from Unix teams
Oh and while Token Ring was running proud
Ethernet stole Blue's loyal crowd
The courtroom was adjourned
No verdict was returned
And while Bill Gates read a book on Macs
The poor clerk learned to send a fax
And we saw our first DOS attacks
The day my 'puter died
We were singing(*)

Hunt and pecker with a grammar checker
The nerds got hit by the tax assessor
Dow miles high and falling fast
Tech bled from dot com crash
The market bombed on a terror clash
With the websters on the sidelines leaking cash
Now the tax cut came as sweet relief
While army caught the Baghdad chief
Left all got up to chant
Oh, but they never got the chance
'Cause the players tried to act as shills
The payoff man divulged the yield
Do you recall what was revealed
The day my 'puter died?
We started singing(*)

Oh, and there we were all in one place
A generation back in space
With no time left for Clark again
So come on Dean be angry, Dean spray hate
Screams sank him as a candidate
'Cause bile was his campaign's only trend
And as I watched him on the stage
His hands were clenched in fists of rage
No Carville born to yell
Could break that sound bites spell
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite
I saw Cheney laughing with delight
The day my 'puter died
He was singing(*)

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just riled and blamed Kerry
I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd bought the 'puter years before
But the man there said the 'puter's obsolete
And in the streets the Deanites screamed
The peaceniks cried, and the Clintons dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The pundits all were chokin'
And the three men I admire most
 Hannity, Rush, and the great Karl Rove
They said the Dem's campaign is toast
The day my 'puter died
And they were singing(*)

January 28, 2004 in Other Songs | Permalink


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Pretty much the way I felt over the last week when so much eminently fiskable material was out there and I couldn't get to it. Not because my site was fried, but because I simply didn't have the time, having gone through Hell Week at work.

Still, the feeling's the same.

Good job!

Posted by: Emperor Misha I at Jan 31, 2004 4:22:24 PM