Hotel Weather Channel

Here's one for BC, who's down in Florida and always watches NOAA weather radar, watching for any circling swirls out in the gulf. The Eagles' Hotel California never made much sense anyway, so it might as well recount the endless hell of being stuck in a hotel with nothing good to watch except the Weather Channel.

Cruised the Weather Channel
Cool wind in the air
Warm spell from La Nina
Rising up through the air

Up ahead in the sequence
I saw the satellite
My head grew heavy, and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night

There she stood at the four day
I heard the weather belle
And I was thinking to myself
This could be flurries or this could be hail

Then she hit the panhandle
And she showed me the bay
There was moisture in the corridor
And then I heard them say

Welcome to the local Weather Channel
With your live updates
With your live updates
Plenty of gloom on the hotel’s Weather Channel
Any time of year
You can find it here

Her mind’s humidity twisted
She's got the tornado winds
She's got a lot of polar pressure troughs
With Artic temps

Now they glance at the weekend
Not makin' bets
Slight chance it'll stay clear
Slight chance I'll get wet

So they called up the caption
Please bring me the high - He said
"We haven't hit that temperature
since 1969"

And still those voices are calling from
far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say

Welcome to the local Weather Channel
Such a lovely day, with no ozone haze
They're summin' it up on the hotel's Weather Channel
What a nice surprise, bring you daily highs

Low cloud covered ceiling
With freezing rain and ice
And she said
We have just got drizzling here
Under cloudy skies

And in the master update
They recapped for the week
They gab it with their steely smiles
But they just can't get to break.

Last thing I remember
I was fumbling on the floor
I had to flip the channel back
to the race I ‘s on before

"Relax," said the anchor, "We are
programmed to repeat
You can check us any time you like
But you can never leave."