Website Lardo

"Desperado" by the Eagles was tricky. Basically this whole spoof set its course when I figured out something that could rhyme with Desperado. My Weather Channel spoof was similar, from trying to figure out a rhyme to California.

Website lardo, why don't you lay off the biscuits?
You been out eating blintzes for so long now
Oh, you're a large one
I know that you stock Doritos
Those thins that are teasin' you
Can make you a cow

Don't you paw the can of Pringles, boy
It'll kill you if it's able
You know the palm of hearts is always your best bet

Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been layed upon your table
But you only eat the ones that won't digest

Website lardo, oh, you ain't gettin' no thinner
Your pangs and your hunger, they're paddin' your bones
And lowfat, oh lowfat well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is wobbling to the fridge all alone

Don't your quiche get cold 'for it's dinner time?
The pie comes slow but it's Duncan Hines'
It's hard to tell the lunch time from the breaks

You're losin' sight of feet and toes
Ain't it funny how the waistline goes away?

Website lardo, why don't you put down the crispies?
Lay off all those brownies, put down the plate
Belt may be strainin', but there's a notch left to move to
You need a liposuction on you, before it's too late