Fire Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney has crossed the line.

Most of the reporting from Iraq is about death and destruction.

Because most reporters follow the dictum "If it bleeds, it leads – and Bu$h=Hitler!"

We don't learn much about what our soldiers in Iraq are thinking or doing. There's no Ernie Pyle to tell us, and, if there were, the military would make it difficult or impossible for him to let us know.

Wow! So all those military bloggers in Iraq are just posting about what, exactly? There's a hundred Ernie Pyles over there, telling us every day, if you are willing to open your eyes and ears and read them. The Military in no way has forbidden the flow of normal, non sensitive information from Iraq. If there's censorship, and there certainly is, it's occuring in the news rooms at places like CBS, where they don't want Americans to know about all the good things going on over there.

It would be interesting to have a reporter ask a group of our soldiers in Iraq to answer five questions and see the results:

It would be even more interesting to allow the group of soldiers a ten minute suspension of military restrictions and see what they do to said reporters. I'd really like to see the results of that.

1. Do you think your country did the right thing sending you into Iraq?

From all the things I've read from soldiers blogging in Iraq, the answer is an overwhelming yes.

2. Are you doing what America set out to do to make Iraq a democracy, or have we failed so badly that we should pack up and get out before more of you are killed?

A leading question if ever there was one. That's like asking them "Do you think you should run away like a French school girl?" which of course is what Andy's going to do when he runs into the next veteran walking down the street.

3. Do the orders you get handed down from one headquarters to another, all far removed from the fighting, seem sensible, or do you think our highest command is out of touch with the reality of your situation?

Every now and again a headquarters gets a few mortar rounds lobbed at it, but it's nice that he implies the headquarters is "far removed" from the fighting, unless of course he's referring to the Pentagon. Isn't that the building that got T-boned by a high-speed Boeing?

4. If you could have a medal or a trip home, which would you take?

I'm sure they'd take option three, 10 days house arrest with loss of pay for ripping a particular CBS employee's dentures out of his head.

5. Are you encouraged by all the talk back home about how brave you are and how everyone supports you?

A nice follow up ask if they are irritated and even enraged at all the defeatest tripe being spouted by CBS. After his five questions, he gets far, far worse.

Treating soldiers fighting their war as brave heroes is an old civilian trick designed to keep the soldiers at it. But you can be sure our soldiers in Iraq are not all brave heroes gladly risking their lives for us sitting comfortably back here at home.

You can be sure that I will never watch CBS again, after that little comment.

Our soldiers in Iraq are people, young men and women, and they behave like people - sometimes good and sometimes bad, sometimes brave, sometimes fearful. It's disingenuous of the rest of us to encourage them to fight this war by idolizing them.

Oh my god! It's wrong for us to idolize them because then they'll fight on? That the most idiotic reason for sedition that I have ever heard in my life.

We pin medals on their chests to keep them going. We speak of them as if they volunteered to risk their lives to save ours, but there isn't much voluntary about what most of them have done. A relatively small number are professional soldiers. During the last few years, when millions of jobs disappeared, many young people, desperate for some income, enlisted in the Army. About 40 percent of our soldiers in Iraq enlisted in the National Guard or the Army Reserve to pick up some extra money and never thought they'd be called on to fight. They want to come home.

That's it. Boycott CBS and demand that Rooney be summarily fired. He can't claim our soldiers are draftees yet he still tries to make the assertion that they're in the military against their will. Fuck you Andy.

One indication that not all soldiers in Iraq are happy warriors is the report recently released by the Army showing that 23 of them committed suicide there last year. This is a dismaying figure. If 22 young men and one woman killed themselves because they couldn't take it, think how many more are desperately unhappy but unwilling to die.

They'd be alive today if they hadn't been sitting in their tents, all alone, watching 60 Minutes. And the number of suicides is about five or so more than normal. In retrospect, though It's really kind of sad that Andy never served in the miltary, got depressed, and shot himself. It really is.

We must support our soldiers in Iraq because it's our fault they're risking their lives there. However, we should not bestow the mantle of heroism on all of them for simply being where we sent them. Most are victims, not heroes.

His soldier as "victim" tripe will last up until he runs into the first soldier on the subway who's read this little journalistic suicide note.

America's intentions are honorable. I believe that, and we must find a way of making the rest of the world believe it. We want to do the right thing. We care about the rest of the world. President Bush's intentions were honorable when he took us into Iraq. They were not well thought out but honorable.

So is Rooney the first person to start up with "Blame the soldiers, not Bush" meme?

Bush's determination to make the evidence fit the action he took, which it does not, has made things look worse. We pay lip service to the virtues of openness and honesty, but for some reason, we too often act as though there was a better way of handling a bad situation than by being absolutely open and honest.

Ok then. I'll be absolutely open and honest when I describe what should be done to Andy Rooney. First, every soldier in Iraq should read his little questionaire. Then as they rotate home each gets to take one swing at Rooney with a Wiffle bat. Wouldn't want to use a real bat, because then only the first few soldiers would get a crack at him. Remember, we'll be at this for the long haul.

While they're at it, they can ask him how he could say that Bush tried to make the evidence fit the actions. If Bush had done that, we'd be up to our armpits in all sorts of chemical weapons that we planted ourselves, now wouldn't we? That hasn't happened, because unlike CBS employees, we don't make a habit of lying our little sanctimonious asses off.